Dear Relationshipper,

I have been in a relationship with the same guy for three years, the longest relationship I've had. Just recently, every day things from conversation to dining together, (and yes, the sex as well- but I'm not focusing on that right now :)), are starting to feel mundane- kind of blasé and ho-hum. How do I spice things up outside the bedroom?

Sincerely,
Bored

Dear Bored,

When I was a kid, I always used to whine, “I’m bored!”  My mother would invariably respond, “You’re bo-ring.”  While this drove me crazy, perhaps you can see her point.  Sometimes when we are uninspired, we tend to blame it on our surroundings.  The reason we get bored is because of an internal lack of passion or motivation.  There’s no reason for the two of you to have run out of conversation topics or things to do.  If you are inspired, you can bring the spice back all by yourself.

Perhaps you should take some time to focus on your own interests in hobbies.  Take a class or develop a new hobby.  Read a fascinating book or go to a museum.  Try to find out why you are feeling bored.  What is it that you’re looking for?  Adventure?  Intrigue?  Something that captivates your imagination?

If dinner is boring, you can try cooking a new recipe.  If you’re sick of being at home, go to a restaurant two hours away.  If that still doesn’t do it for you, maybe you could invite some old or new friends out to dinner with you.  There are a ton of options, just start brainstorming!

If you are lit up with the thrill of a new hobby, idea or other activity, you can share it with your husband.  Men love when women are inspired, even if it isn’t in their realm of interests.  What men don’t love is when women are bored with them.  Embark on a journey and then invite him along – don’t expect the opposite.

Good luck rekindling your spark!

Lisa

Got questions?  I’ve got answers.  Email me at: lisa@relationshipper.com