Don't You Dare Pay for Dinner!

Dear Relationshipper,

Why is it so terribly improper for the woman to pay for a date?  My boyfriend of 8 months dumped me last night and this was the cause, according to him.

Recently I was hoping for a promotion and he was very supportive and encouraging about it.  When I was informed that I got it, I called him and said "Hi.  I got that promotion so tonight I want to take you out to celebrate" and he said that was fine.  That night we went to a pretty nice restaurant and had a really good time until the check arrived.  The server put it in the middle of the table and when I reached for it, my boyfriend snapped at me and asked what I was doing.  When I said I had told him I was taking him out to celebrate, he said he had never let a woman pay the check and never would.  We exchanged a few ideas about who was being more silly and ended up splitting the check evenly.  He took me home and said it's over.  I haven't heard from him and that was about a week ago.

Was I wrong?  Should I apologize?  Is the male ego that fragile or is he an exception?  I'm really confused.


Dear Moneybags,

Jeepers!  This guy has got quite a complex.  I’m going to guess that maybe his father was a mooch, and he fears becoming just like him.  He has some sort of deep-seated issues regarding money…that run a little too deep, if you ask me.

You did absolutely nothing wrong, and as fragile as men’s egos can be sometimes, this is definitely a little more fragile than usual.  I would say that you dodged a bullet with this one, because if he’s ready to cast a woman off this easily over a dinner tab, then God only knows what you’d have to deal with in the future.

If you were in a “real” relationship with a great guy, I might suggest that you let him pay for dinner if it’s that important to him.  Sometimes when people have a real “thing” about something, it’s best to let it be (especially if it involves getting a free dinner!)  But this guy is a little over the top.  Consider yourself lucky.


Been on any crazy first dates?  Email me about them, at:


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