The Four C's of Relationships

Hello readers,

I'm going to stray from the advice business today, to give you a brief excerpt from my upcoming book, "Instant Love Advice"

This excerpt details the four "c's" required for making our relationships work.  If this concept sounds good to you, keep an eye out for my book, which is due to be released this Spring!


There are four key “C’s” when dealing with relationship problems.  Clear headedness, creativity, compassion and communication.

They say hindsight has 20/20 vision.  That is because once you’re further removed from the situation, you don’t have pesky emotions getting in the way of your decision-making processes.  Emotions are a wonderful thing, but if allowed to intensify too deeply, they can wreak havoc on logic.  Clear headed thinking is critical to problem resolution.  If you feel intense tightness in your chest, or a frantic need to punish your partner through words or actions, take a break and allow yourself to cool down first.

You must have the creativity to view and solve problems from a unique perspective.  Our upbringings, natural tendencies and environments tend to push us to solve problems using rote methods.  Uninspired thought brings about uninspired action.  A little creativity might bring you out of your rut.

Compassion is life’s greatest healer.  Compassion is what religions are based on.  With enough compassion, all of life’s problems can fade away.  Do you have enough compassion for your partner?  Do you have enough compassion for yourself?  Genuine love and forgiveness can help ease the pain of any conflict.  If you take the time to really get to the bottom of a particular issue, you’ll find that compassion is lacking for either the other person or yourself.

Communication, of course, is one of the most important tools in any relationship.  From saying hello to someone to tackling tough issues like infidelity, hone your communication skills by not only considering what you’re saying, but: how you’re saying it, why you’re saying it, who you’re saying it to, and even when you’re saying it.  You may think that by nailing how you’re saying it, you’ve done a great job – but you may very well be missing one of the other aspects of effective communication.

Keep those questions coming!  Email me at:


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